I've been sitting at this computer with nothing to say,

and yet...


SO MUCH IS GOING ON.

Currently...

...surrounded by boxes of my life. How have I accumulated so much...stuff? Where did it all come from, why did I keep it, and why is it so hard to throw out? I'm finding random papers I wrote in eighth grade, and awkward school pictures of people I haven't seen in years. I found an earring that I had already condemned as NEVER-TO-BE-FOUND-AGAIN. Good thing I kept the other one.

...loving So You Think You Can Dance. I love Melanie so, so much. She is an absolute joy to watch.

...wishing that my job was over and done with. "Hello, my name is Carlie. I'm calling on behalf of Edward Jones. May I please speak to Sally DalrympleschnitzelimpossibletopronouncelastnamesorryifI'veoffendedyoubysayingitwrong?" So. Done. They think I'm coming back next summer. Pretty sure that's not going to happen.

...obsessed with Pinterest. You haven't heard of it? Go to it, love it. It's fantastic. Follow me, and I'll follow you.

...having fun with her and her and her. Girl's nights, treks through the wilderness (which really means a shopping trip to Cabela's, although a wilderness excursion would be quite fun) and excellent conversations and really delicious sweet potato fries, and making fun of the judges on So You Think You Can Dance. It's been a fun week for friends.

...missing Sarah. She's always out of town.

...staying up WAY too late, and waking up whenever. I need some structure. Asap.

..."I mean, uh...suck it up! Be a man! Rub some dirt in it!" "Yeah, she gives good nods." "Beautiful gowns for my darling debutante!" "Just take her...and kiss her...and just kiss the crap out of her." This movie? Golden. If you know what it is, let's be friends.

...oh, also? I move a week from tomorrow.

bits of tuesday

I chopped my hair off today.
No, really. I did. It looks good.
(I think.)

Today I opened up Facebook and it said that I had 26 notifications.
It was lying. 
(How did that even happen? The little red speech bubble said "26", plain as day. So strange.)


Star Trek is awesome. 
(I secretly think that Spock is really attractive.)

My car isn't feeling well enough to function correctly. 
(I miss it.)


How was your Tuesday?
(Leave a comment. It makes me feel like I'm cool. Or you don't have to. That's cool, too.)

The fifth of May, a happy day.

Did you like that rhyming title? I'm just clever, I know.

This is one of those posts where I don't plan what I'm going to say beforehand. I usually don't really..."plan"...like I never sit down and make an outline or anything. But usually I have some idea of what I want to say to the world. (Or rather, 66 people in the world...if you were the only people in the world, I would probably give up on...everything, and start resigning myself to a life of insanity in which I live in my virtual world on the computer. [But we would all have to be friends on facebook.] )

A'hem.


By the way, you 66? I really love you guys. It feels good to be followed. (That was possibly one of the weirdest/most contradictory things I've ever said [er...written. Blogged? Announced, that's a good word.] But really, you guys make me happy.)


Speaking of being happy...


did I mention that that is what I am?


I'm happy.


Life is so good. 


My AP Lit test was today. It's all over. My three essays are written and I totally spanked the multiple choice section. (Um...no. That was sarcasm. But I think I did alright.)


I made plans to spend time with my best friend on Saturday night. He's probably the greatest person ever. Sidewalk chalk adventures are in the works. 


I just read a bunch of notes I have acquired throughout my high school and junior high years. The way we carried on about boys is beyond my comprehension. (Oh, who am I kidding. We still carry on about boys in a ridiculous fashion.)



My love for several childhood television shows and movies has been spontaneously revived. Arthur really was the best. 


I'm happy. 


I hope you are, too. 
If not, go watch this video:






:)

today I love:

happy list

school.
AP literature.
friendships.
fun in society.
sensational seniors.
singing fiends.
harmonizations.
Stephen Colbert.
new cousin.
Paranormalcy.
AP psychology.
pen pal.
Harry Potter lovin' brother.
dream journal.
archery.
plaid backpack.
new bike tire.
trademarks.
Billie Holiday.
movie night.
cute sis.
crazy teacher.
fabulous teachers.
pool partyin'.
pearls.
ModCloth.
fun paper.
new books.
senior year.

this is it.

who am I?

Sometimes I am not sure. I'm a dreamer. I have goals to meet. I dream of life after high school, but also of life during high school. Friendships and relationships pepper my daydreams, and I sprinkle them over reality. I am an individual: a unique version of the seventeen year old girl. I love to love. I love to be loved. Musical fantasies often occupy my thoughts. Singing is my escape, and a way for me to express myself, though not the only way I do so. I talk. A lot. I act. Sometimes I show off. I try to avoid it. I love pretty things. Being a girl is wonderful. Random obsessions sometimes distract me.  I'm smart. Writing gives me a thrill. I love to read and get to know characters in books. I daydream about historical heroes. I use their  examples to make sure I'm living right. I am a girl.
I will succeed.

day 5 {grow}

{see this on Flickr}

Daily prompt: "As you listen to the music of your past, begin to think about what your hopes and expectations for life were when you were young and the world was wide open. {If you are young and the world is wide open, get crazy and write your wildest dreams right now.}"

Some of my dreams don't feel very wild--they feel attainable. They feel...close. Almost too close. It's like I'm growing up so fast that I can't even gather my thoughts on the present. I'm done with junior year, I'm racing towards senior year, then graduation, college, moving out, living on my own...it's all right there, in my face, yelling to be noticed, and it's so loud that sometimes I can't hear what's going on at the moment--my future is too distracting.

But then I remember that even though it's creeping up on me quickly, I still have time to cherish here as a seventeen year old. I can't just blow things off and tell myself that I have oodles of time to learn and grow; I don't. I've had seventeen years, and soon, I'll be an adult. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that even though I can't view my future as afar off, I can still enjoy my life at present, while cramming in as much learning and growth as I possibly can before adulthood. But even when I reach adulthood, will I stop learning? Of course not! Growing is a neverending process. You might not grow in physical stature, but spiritual and personal growth never ends. I'll learn forever, and I can't wait.

I really need...

A nap,

a pen pal,

cookbooks,

&

some outdoor recreation.

Mr. Sun, please come home.

helping hands

Someone helped me today. She probably doesn't know it, but she truly helped me. We were standing outside, just laughing and talking, a big group of us, and she said something that came up in my later thoughts. It was just part of a passing conversation. It wasn't even meant to be deep or meaningful. It was a funny statement, actually, about some silliness on choir tour. But it stuck with me for some reason. Some important reason. It's not so much the event she was talking about; just something that went along with the event. And I remembered it. I took it to heart and learned from it. I know it was important. I feel better than I've felt in a long time.

Today I studied at my best friend's house with a group of people that I love.

Today I started a mental list of books I need to find and read.

Today my friend stopped by and we laughed and talked and watched funny videos for awhile.

Today I fell in love with the sun all over again.

Today I realized my incredible luck.

Today was good.

happy earth day!

Earth Day.

I love it.

I love those silly guys at my school who dressed up in ridiculous Earth Day garb.

I love Tamara for giving me a "love earth" sticker.

I love that I get to walk along a little creek every morning before school and every afternoon after school.

I love the fact that the mountains are still crisply white with snow, but it's sunny where I live (mostly).

It's Earth Day. Let's love it.

the streets are full of puddles again

Rain is so often associated with dismal things. Funerals, saying goodbye, general dreariness... When rain falls it seems as though the sky is crying. But do you have to be sad to cry? No. Happiness can trigger a tear or two. Today, the sky was crying happy tears. Instead of washing everything out and soaking the vibrance out of anything in sight, the rain seemed to lure the color out of hiding. Yellow blossoms were sharper, red stop signs more passionate. Everything came clean and clear and though the sky above was overcast, it didn't dampen my spirits. It woke me up and excited my soul. This morning I sat in my car for a moment, turned off the windshield wipers, and listened. After school I snuggled into my comforting bed and fell asleep to the same relaxing sound of droplets hitting my window. After my performance tonight I walked to my car and breathed in the heavenly aroma of precipitation. The streets glistened, all dressed up in their shiny new puddles. I hope it rains tomorrow, too.

get thrifty

The time has come, the Carlie said, to shop for many things.

I miss my lovely Deseret Industries. I really need some 75 cent books and random sweaters and incredibly comfortable denims. And maybe a dress or two. And who knows? Perhaps a shelf? A chair? A picture frame? The possibilities are endless.

And then, me and my brother will go to lunch. Splendid afternoon.

in which carlie soaks up the sun's delicious rays and desperately tries to get tan.

It's lovely in St. George. It's no California (some people have all the luck) and it's no Georgia (some people REALLY have all the luck), but despite her friends' escapades that took them out of Utah, Carlie is managing to have a blast.

I watched The Lizzie McGuire Movie last night. I knew every line.

I finished Bride Wars today. Now a favorite.

I have yet to finish Sleepless in Seattle, but I've finished Julie and Julia, Dan in Real Life (twice) and Anne of Green Gables. It's a fantastic thing to snuggle with your lil' sis on a cushy bed in front of a gorgeous television set and watch your favorite chick flicks. Hooray for sisterly bonding!! We haven't even pulled each other's hair out yet.

And today? Swimming. And the hot tub. And soaking up the Vitamin D. YUM.

Carlie out.

back and forth

New York to California, all in a single month. And now, off to St. George! Thank goodness it's in the same state.

acappella tour was an incredible amount of fun.

oh, disneyland.
It's such a happy place. Universal Studios was pretty fun, too. Even the 11 hour bus ride was endurable. (I quite enjoy sleeping. It doesn't happen very often, what with rehearsals and homework and such.)

GUESS WHAT. March just barely started, and now it's almost over. April is swiftly approaching, and Spring is in the air. The bitter cold has retreated for a time, but I've heard nasty rumors that it's coming to visit again tomorrow. Hm. Ah, well. A week from now I'll be soakin' up rays in sunny St. Georgio. Yes, please.

expi-ali-do-cious

Today was a mixed-up mashed potato of a day.

Yes. It was.

I glory in the fact that tomorrow is Friday.

Five days left before I jet off to City, New York. (explodes in a undignified-but-I-don't-even-care-because-I'm-so-dang-excited fit of giggles and smiles.)


Good morning to you.

In Which I Venture to Say That My Monday Wasn't Bad

Today was doubleplusgood. Usually Monday means excessive tiredness, unwillingness to be social in any way, and altogether disagreement. this monday=not so.

I went and saw Love's Labours Lost at my school for the second time, only this time, I went on a date. I like dates. A lot. So much fun. Then...I had a late night chamber choir rehearsal. Not the most fun thing in the world, but nevertheless necessary, and it's always fun to be with your friends. And to top it all off, I stopped at my friend's house afterward and watched my very first bit of Olympic Games this winter. THANK you, C. Thank you. I forgot how much I love watching couple's figure skating. And then we chatted for an hour.


And tomorrow, I compete in the District Poetry Out Loud competition!! I took first in my school, and I'm movin' up. It's kinda sorta nervous-making.

But I can do it.

Ice skate found here.

It's the 50th official day of winter.

 50 days is a lot of days. Please let spring come soon.

Yesterday I baked a cake and watched Julie and Julia...twice.

I also decorated a huge plate of cookies. Today I'm cleaning the whole kitchen.

I got out to my car after school today and realized that I pretty much had my jaw clenched all day long...I think I might be too used to being stressed out.

My English test was almost condescendingly easy.

I took my vitamins this morning, which rarely happens, so I thought I'd blog about it. Interesting, right?!

The play that I dropped out of is opening tonight; Our Town. I'm going to mutual. ...wait. A play is opening tonight? Shouldn't that mean I'm really concerned with call times and costumes and make-up? Nope. I'm NOT. It's fantastically liberating.

I love making Valentines. I only need a thousand more!

Today Mama J finally told me how much money I still need to pay for New York. She seems to think that $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.75 is reasonable. No problem, right? (Of course, I exaggerate, just a bit...)

And...

I discovered that I love roller-blading.


Carlie out.

the best feeling

Do you ever have one of those weeks? When everything...kinda crumbles for a few days? And you just don't want to DEAL WITH IT anymore? Yeah...I sorta had one'a those. Except...less dramatic. It was one of those weeks, except in a good way. Which doesn't make sense, does it? But it's true.

Why is this blog post entitled "the best feeling"? Because today, Sunday, was good. (And yesterday, too...I went to a dance. Woot!) Today I decorated cookies. It was so much FUN. Can I just say how excited I am to cook everyday? To make dinner for a family? Those thoughts kept swimming into my head while I frosted and piped icing onto the cookies, finishing them off with a little flourish of sparkling sugar. Mm, delicious. I love having that feeling of accomplishment after I've made something special, be it a batch of cookies, lunch for my little brother, a thank-you card, a hair accessory, a sewing project, or a scrapbook page. It's just
the best feeling.

In Which I Explain (to some extent) My Friday

This week hasn't been the most eventful, as far as spectacular/gaudy/in-your-face events go. My aunt did have an adorable baby, which was awfully exciting. And I DID get an A on my math test...which was also awfully exciting. (yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YES.) But.

I think the week has been settling me into a false sense of relaxation. Tomorrow is Friday, the end of the week, the oh-my-goodness-this-should-be-a-relieving-day-because-I-can-play-and-then-sleep-in-tomorrow-till-twelve kind of day. That's what Fridays usually are, right? No such luck for this chick. (HA! I mean, are you really surprised?) At three thirty tomorrow, Lone Peak's Chamber Choir (which I am a member of...hence my story about it that I am telling you right now) will be at American Fork Junior High School rehearsing Mozart's Requiem with the rock star of choral directors: Mack Wilberg. (MACK WILBERG! Who wouldn't want to meet a rock star of CHORAL MUSIC?! Soooo the bomb.com.) 3:30 to 9:30. Oy, yoy yoy. 6 hours. SIX. (1,2,3,4,5,6. also, 3*2.) But, it's ok. It'll go by fast. Hopefully. And then maybe I'll go pound on a friends door and say, "Take me in, lads, lassies! Me achin' bones can't hold up much longer and I be needin' a hang-out this evenin'!" (Yes. I'm so doing that. Irish accent and EVERYTHING.)

And then...Saturday. I'll have to talk about that tomorrow. If I have time. Will Carlie make it through the high notes of Mozart's mind? Can she find the energy to drive her car all the way to American Fork? Or the gas money?? Stay tuned to find out the answers to these questions and more!

Today was Monday.

Yesterday, Sunday.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that tomorrow will be Tuesday.


Just another week of winter,

and I am aching for the springtime.