and whom do you prefer?

On saturday I went to preference.

it was quite enjoyable. We made masks for the day date (the theme was masqerade) and then watched wait until dark, only one of the best movies of all time. We ate a fabulous dinner at my grandparent's beautiful house, then danced ourselves silly. I had the time of my life.  

growing wings

performingPOPCORNharrypotterlatenightwithbestiesREDHEADS
stripedsockspurplesweatshirtcorsages julieandjulia.

Now these are a few of my favorite things, a few of the things that help me have wings.

Light

Stillness
and deepening darkness;
ever present
yet barely there.

Then bursting in enormity
of gradual energy,
dancing through a caged existence
to possibility.

Then floating away...

But to what?
To where?
Where will it go?

When the light forces itself through
the thick cashmere of night?

Previous darkness felt
but not pursued,
not desired.

Shut out.
The sun
comes again.

-C.G.H.

It's definitely time for

a new pair of slippers. Pronto.

Sometimes...

...you have to make a decision you never thought you would have to make. You feel completely at peace with that decision, and yet negative and sorrowful emotions still bubble inside of you, just beneath the surface, waiting to explode in an extremely female kind of way. That crippling sense of failure grips your senses and shakes them...well, senseles. You really wish you could explain away all of the stupid things you're feeling and make them go dig their own graves, never to return, but no. They stick to you like skin to mic tape, stick to your heart and nearly suffocate it. Everything squashes together in the immense pressure and stress of your suffocating organ.


You've been waiting and waiting, but the clouds remain in their chilly, grey state, not a hint of silver to be found. Their linings stay darkened, offering no answers to questions you seek answers to.

Silver linings come in retrospect, at the end of someone's story. My story is far from over.

it's the new year

And what will I do?

RESOLUTION
Read more. Read, read, read, read, read. As much as I can. As much as I can get my hands on. As much as I can venture out to find. Whatever is recommended. Whatever isn't recommended. Just...everything. In elementary school, I used to read. I always brought a book to class. In junior high, I read. I read everything. I was the fastest. And now, in high school...I don't read. It got pushed to the side. My deep, long, wonderful romance with the written word has cooled and been replaced by homework, rehearsals, friends, and sleep. Who needs sleep?! I'm reading more!

Run, runna runna, run, freedom, run away.

Christmas break? Yeah, it's me, Carlie. So, I think you should get here. Faster. And you should come. Sooner. That is all.

Carlie


Also, the title to this post is courtesy of the musical comedy Urinetown. Who knew?