MOVING DAY

Hello, lovelies! Are you still there? I disappeared for a while. But now I'm back with new blogtastic energy and a determination to post about it! This blog has been such a dear friend to me, but it is unfortunately time to move on to bigger and better things. Follow me on over to this little spot right here:

http://lethersleepforshewillmovemountains.blogspot.com/

I'll see you there! I will see you there, right? Because the worst thing about this move is leaving behind my little group of followers and readers, most of whom I know personally and want to keep up with. So...don't get left behind. (Anna, I'm talking to you.)

the second beginning

Time to start writing every day. What kind of journalist doesn't write every day? (I'm not a real journalist. I don't even know what I am. I'm just testing out a few different titles for myself. Journalist is it today, folks.) 

I prefer writing in I-voice. I always have. It's either that or free-verse, or a combination of the two. When I was younger I would try to emulate my favorite authors. I read more than anything else. Extensively and ecstatically. I gobbled up the words and added a sprinkle of speed and comprehension. It's a wonderfully exciting time of life; to realize that words mean something and to understand them as a whole, and then as you get into the higher grades, you realize that you can make them say what you want them to say. YOU can write those books and you can put words on paper that mean something, and all of it builds on each other. Each step leads towards something more exciting. A letter, a word, a sentence. Then a picture book, then a chapter book, then a novel. Then another letter, a word of your own, and the beginnings of a book...then the branches of the literary tree start jutting out in every direction, with buds and leaves and blossoms of provocative thought and the ability to express it on paper. 

But I'm getting carried away with this whole writing and reading thing. 

"Hi, I'm Carlie, and I'm a music journalist for [insert name of hip and happening publication here]"

How does that sound? I'm still deciding. But who said I had to decide today?

Stupor of thought?

These past couple of weeks have been some of my strangest. I started school again. I signed up for all of the classes I need for my major, and some other classes that aren't for my major. (Those blasted general eds will be the end of me, I just know it.) I've also sat awake on a couple of occasions, feeling like I'm doing everything wrong and wondering if I'm on the right path. I've been feeling stuck, like I can't figure out where I'm supposed to go.

I'm halfway to my associates degree, and then who knows where I'll be? I can't see the end. I know there's a path, but I'm struggling with the fact that I can't see the destination. I only see a hazy horizon line, and a few giant, general images in the clouds. My laundry list: graduation, marriage, children, job, live life. The details are hazy. The road signs are in a different language. (Probably Italian, because I'm in that class right now, so my subconscious says, "Italian. They should be in Italian.")

I feel like I should take some steps back, but then when I do that, the vision is even further away. Perhaps the answer, instead of taking a step back and seeing the big picture, is to focus on the small pictures in front of me right here and right now. Perhaps I should focus on the steps forward instead.

Or maybe I should just get rid of all of these metaphors.

I MISS THIS BLOG.

So, I was being all proactive about creating a new blog and making it all cool and fancy and somewhere cool where cool people on the internet would hang out if they ever wanted to feel cool. But I realized that I don't particularly care about the cool factor, and I just want to start blogging for myself again. If you read me, cool. If not, that's cool too.

We're cool, right?

I'm back.

Something.

I don't know what to call it. It's this...feeling. But that sounds too cliche. But aren't cliches there because everyone knows what they mean? They're there because they've been used, and while they might not be sophisticated or eloquent, sometimes you just need to use them.

It's a feeling.

You know when you've known someone for long time, and they understand you completely? They don't need to ask you if you're sad; they can see it in your smile. They could understand everything you wanted to say when you make eye-contact.

That feeling doesn't just happen.

Except today, it did.

So, who knows?

It's something.

Remember when I used to blog?

Annnd...update.

Because honestly, when I try to come up with deep, meaningful things to say, I feel like I end up sounding really self-important. Some people pull it off beautifully, and sometimes I try, but not today. Today I just want to tell you about what I'm doing. Since you've probably been wondering what my life is like.

I wake up really early, which is nice. I get a lot of things done, which is weird.

Things About Snow College That They Won't Tell You At Orientation.

-The rugs in front of the doors at Snow are super awesome. I don't know why they feel great underneath my feet. But they do. And I'm being totally serious and literal. Not just... "they feel great underneath my feet because I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now."

-The bathroom on the bottom floor of the Science Building is about the size of a postage stamp, and it's super creepy.

-Also in the Science Building, there's this hallway. I like to call it, "Human Disease: An Art Gallery", or "The Hallway of Nasty", or "Hallway of Human Suffering". Avoid it. It's full of student-made posters outlining different sicknesses and diseases, complete with several pictures on each poster. Just...avoid it.

I'm all out of words. Until the next post!

Hi.

Hi.

My mind is empty, but my heart is full.

I have nothing to say and so many people to say it to.

Hi.

How are you?